‘Heated Rivalry’ musical parody: Slap shots and slapstick

Just when you thought the cultural juggernaut that is “Heated Rivalry” is losing steam, along comes the inevitable satire Off Broadway. And it’s a goofy musical, of course.

If you’re worried, however, that “Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody” is a lame, slapdash rip-off of the steamy gay hockey TV series, fear not. The book, music and lyrics by Dylan MarcAurele are incredibly sharp, the performances are strong (cast members take on multiple roles and have badass Broadway pedigrees), and many of the innuendo-infused gags are laugh-out-loud funny.

One of the many surprises is the genius framing device, in the form of a trio of “live-laugh-love wine moms” (all named Susan) who croon about escaping their husbands to watch “gay hockey players with big butts” and guzzle sauvignon blanc from Yeti tumblers. Depicting the rabid female fan base of the series, based on the popular “Game Changers” set of books by Rachel Reid, not only lends the show crucial context but also adds a fresh dimension to the story. Throughout the proceedings, the main Susan (Ryann Redmond) pops up from time to time, offering wry narration in a folksy, magnified Minnesotan accent.

The central lovestruck couple, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, are perfectly cast. Jimin Moon (“Sunset Boulevard”) lends a winsome charm to starry-eyed Shane, as he navigates the bumpy odyssey from “power center to power bottom.” Jay Armstrong Johnson (“Hair”) embodies Ilya with a sexy, brooding gruffness mixed with layers of vulnerability.

Both actors bear a marked resemblance to their TV counterparts, Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie, which is crucial to any parody. And yes, that includes when their hockey jerseys are shucked off, revealing lean, chiseled physiques. The too-brief sex scenes, it must be noted, are short on nudity and favor zaniness over eroticism.

The narrative loosely follows the arc of the six-part TV series, required viewing to thoroughly enjoy the references. (Full disclosure: I’ve seen the “Heated Rivalry” series four times and certain jokes still whizzed over my head.)

Naturally, many key scenes are included. Ilya and Shane sweating on stationary bikes and the water-bottle hand touch. Shane’s helicopter mom (Cherry Torres) pressuring him to always wear his Reeboks. Ilya squabbling with his brutish father (Ryan Duncan) in Russia, and keeping secrets from his gal-pal Svetlana (Torres). The oft-heralded tuna melt scene. The triumphant on-ice smooch between swarthy hockey star Scott Hunter and smoothie barista Kip (Duncan).

The song where Shane begs Ilya to “come to the cottage” is cleverly titled “I Can Host.” The pop-inflected musical numbers are choreographed by Brooke Engen and Tiffany Engen. Under the direction of Alan Kliffer, the show is awash with twisted sight gags and low-tech touches, like using puppets for acrobatic hockey moves and sexual positions.

As expected with such spoofs, the jokes run fast-and-furious and are hit-and-miss. The meet-cute sequence between Kip and Scott (played by a brave volunteer from the audience) runs overlong. The repetitive banana jokes quickly become rotten. The throwaway quip about the Epstein files could have been, well, thrown away.

To be sure, the show is at its best when poking fun at itself. Like Ilya claiming that a character was deleted for the stage version because they are “so boring.” And mocking the jarring time sequences (the narrative flits across nine years, and TV viewers found it tough to follow). There’s even a bit about Storrie’s adorable YouTube videos, made at age 12, which gained massive traction after the “Heated Rivalry” series exploded.

As any “Heated Rivalry” fan knows, season two is definitely a go, but won’t be released until April 2027. The publication of the next book in the franchise, titled “Unrivalled,” has been delayed until June 2027. Luckily, wine moms and the rest of us will have this well-crafted, side-splitting theatrical sendup to help satisfy our cravings until then.