How the Grinches (Hope to) Steal Queer Holiday Films

How the Grinches (Hope to) Steal Queer Holiday Films|How the Grinches (Hope to) Steal Queer Holiday Films

Perhaps it was actually One Million Moms, not the Grinch, who stood atop Mount Crumpit, peered down into the valley, and said, “I must stop this whole thing! Why for 53 years I’ve put up with it now! I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?”

You’ll recall that next, according to Dr. Seuss, “Then he got an idea! An awful idea! The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!”

The infamous One Million Moms group — a “division” of the anti-LGBTQ American Family Association — and the rabidly homophobic media outlet LifeSite News have convinced tens of thousands of Whos down in Whoville to sign petitions blasting Hallmark executives for opening the door to the possibility of airing LGBTQ-related holiday films.

And, so now, to paraphrase Dr. Seuss, “But, whatever the reason, their heart or their shoes, [One Million Moms] stood there on Christmas Eve hating the [gays]

Staring down from their cave with a sour, Grinchy frown

At the warm lighted windows below in their town,

For they knew every [gay] down in Whoville beneath

Was busy now hanging a hollywho wreath.”

But harboring the greed of the Grinch, for One Million Moms the mere idea of banning LGBTQ-related films is not enough. Their petition also rips Hallmark for airing a commercial with lesbians.

“Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.

And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.

On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.”

The petitions target multiple executives with both Hallmark Cards and Crown Media, which is the Hallmark Channel’s parent company controlled by Hallmark Cards. LifeSite singles out Michelle Vicary, who serves as the executive vice president for programming and network publicity at Crown Media Family Networks, for saying, “We are continuing to expand our diversity. We are looking at pitches for LGBT movies.”

One Million Moms adds another doomsday warning: Crown Media Family Networks CEO Bill Abbott said the network would be “open to really any type of movie of any type of relationship in any space.”

“And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?”

The One Million Moms petition has garnered more than 20,000 signatures, while 40,660 people signed LifeSite’s petition as of December 11.

“‘Pooh-pooh to the Whos!,’ he was grinchily humming.

‘They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!’

GLAAD, which monitors media and focuses on promoting LGBTQ equality and inclusion, did not immediately return a request for comment. Hallmark also did not return respond to media inquiries.

“Parents need to know they could now come face-to-face with the LGBT agenda when they sit down to watch the Hallmark Channel,” One Million Moms wrote in their petition. “Family entertainment is not the outlet in which to be politically correct by forcing tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality — a sinful lifestyle that Scripture clearly deems as wrong.”

LifeSite, meanwhile, says Hallmark’s holiday films generally “can be enjoyed by the whole family,” but that its petition “asks Hallmark to keep it that way, and keep sex and sexual practices — including the promotion of homosexuality, transgenderism, etc. — out of their movies.”

“The more the Grinch thought, ‘I must stop this whole thing!’”

Just like when Little Cindy-Lou Who asked the Grinch why he took her Christmas tree, Gay City News asked One Million Moms about their petition.

“Santy Claus, why,

Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?”

The Grinch at least responded to Little Cindy Lou-Who, One Million Moms did not respond to us.

“‘They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two.

‘That’s a noise that I simply must hear!’ He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear.”

That might not ever be a noise we will hear, but rest assured, one thing is clear.

“LGBTQ folks down in Whoville, the tall and the small, can sing without any presents at all!

They hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming! It came!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!”

Dr. Seuss was ever bit as insightful about the future as George Orwell.