7 Days & 7 Nights

THU. AUG. 12

Inspector Pansy

A mixture of Agatha Christie, Mel Brooks and Monty Python, this show follows the semi-legendary but bumbling Englsih police inspector Pansy Clohessy (Rory Lance) and his loyal but clueless female sidekick, Sergeant Dawkins (Ellie Dvorkin) to invesigate the murder of playboy Roger Foosnberry (Lucas Beck.) This comic murder mystery is written by Robert Coles and directed by Hugh Hysell. Through Aug. 22 at the Sanford Meisner Theater, 164 Eleventh Ave., 212 206 1764. Wed.-Sat. at 8 p.m. $19

FRI. AUG. 13

Leif Garrett TV Special

This hunky teen idol is so much more than a “Behind the Music” episode!  See him strut his 17-year-old stuff in his 1979 TV special —- with special guests Marie Osmond and Pink Lad at “1984.” Pyramid, 101 Ave. A, doors open 10 p.m. $8 Visit SpinCycleNYC.com for more information.

Good as Gold

Ari Gold, the singer, returns to Fez for one night only at 9:30 p.m. 380 Lafayette St. at Great Jones St. Call 212 533 7000 for $12 tickets.

SAT. AUG. 14

Stop Smoking Sessions

Saturdays through Aug. 28, the Bronx Lesbian and Gay Health Resource Consortium offers a free support and discussion group for LGBT Bronx residents who smoke cigarettes and are thinking about quitting. There is no pressure to quit. The quitting tools are free, including nicotine patches, support group meetings and printed information. Call Deborah May at 718 292 4368, x 12, if interested. The group meets on Saturdays from 12-2 p.m. at 448 East 149 St.

Hard Gathering

If you weren’t able to make it last time, make sure to head downtown for the third installment of New York’s sexy new culture brawl – the monthly union of the M8 & Tom of Finland parties at the Pussycat Lounge. It’s been attracting a strange and refreshing mix of characters (skins, leathers, punks, bears, priests, clubkids, philosophical strippers, sexy barbers & hungry boot boys). The vibe is good, the mood is frisky and the men & boys are very, very sexy. So, dress hard and be serious. Dj spins Ska/Punk/Oi. Boot, buzz, leather and tarot available for fun and mayhem. 10 p.m. at 139 Greenwich St. at Rector St. Good parking is available, and accessible by the 1, 9, 4 and 5 trains. $10

SUN. AUG. 15

Spoken Word Artists

DeWayne Dickerson, Phred Chao and Philia Anekwe performa t a night of rocking spoken word for only $5 at Dillon’s on 54th St. between Broadway and 8th Ave. 7-9 p.m. Contact jesse@v52.org for more information.

MON. AUG. 16

Jazz at the Mansion

Morris-Jumel Mansion and Parlor Entertainment present jazz at the oldest house in Manhattan. Tonight it’s “Mostly Monk” with Sedric Choukroun on saxophone, Rudel Drears on piano and Don Moore on bass. 6 p.m. at the Morris-Jumel Museum on St. Nicholas Avenue between 160th and 162nd Streets, accessible by the A train or M2, M3, M101 or M18 bus. Call 212 923 8008 for more inforamtion and other jazz events. Free.

MON. AUG. 16

Crisp and Guiliani

Featuring the last film performance of Quentin Crisp’s career, “Quality of Life: The Giuliani Years,” stands as an imposing commentary on the former mayor’s administration. The film is fueled by a diverse array of music featuring ION Records recording artists Buckethead, Cobra Strike, Bill Laswell, and DJ Spooky, Galinsky and award-winning director of photography Thomas Moore. Natural lighting, wide angles and security cameras to make this 21-minute film a gritty, humorous and visceral docu-style dark comedy. Screening only at Vamos A Sembrar Community Theatre Garden, 200 Avenue B (between 12th and 13th Sts. Through Sept. 13, tonight at 8 p.m.) Each screening of “QOL” is followed by the feature film “McArthur Park” directed by Billy Wirth. Free

TUE. AUG. 17

Al Jarreau

Al Jarreau celebrates the release of “Accentuate the Positive,” his new album tonight. This collection (produced by Tony LiPuma) of standards both old and new is destined to not only thrill long-time fans of Jarreau, but introduce a whole new generation to this exceptional voice. Join us for an interactive interview with Jarreau at 7 p.m. at Border’s Columbus Circle, 2nd Floor /in the Time Warner Building. Call 212.823.9775 for more information.

WED. AUG. 18

Jewbilation

Be part of the chosen few to experience, for the first time ever, “Jewbilation! Downtown Entertainment of the Hebrew Persuasion” presented by the 14th Street Y at the 2nd Annual HOWL! Festival, showcasing the cream of the crop in edgy and ingenious Semitic entertainment.  From traditional to titillating, from religious to risqué, from rabbis to renegades, from minyans to mishigas! Come on down to the 14th Street Y to experience some of NYC’s most daring, provocative, indecent and fun performers, artists, dancers, contortionists, clowns, and quizmasters.  Be sure to check your guilt at the door! 9 p.m. $10 344 E. 14th St. Call 212.780.0800 ext. 221 for more information.  

THU. AUG. 19

Transgender Health Meeting

The Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund (TLDEF), the New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy (NYAGRA) & the Gender Identity Project (GIP) of the LGBT Community Center are sponsoring a community town hall meeting on the issue of access to health care for transgendered & gender-variant people.

7 p.m. at the LGBT Community Center, 208 W. 13 St. For more information, call the GIP at 212-620-7310 or e-mail transhealth@transgenderlegal.org.

FRI. AUG. 20

Eric Rhein: Anthropomorphosis

Tonight is the opening night of this artist’s exhibit at Bob Howard Real Estate in the Fire Island Pines. Rhein creates delicate forms and structures from wire, paper and found objects that take on human characteristics in an anthropomorphic process. A reception is sheduled for August 28 at 5 p.m.

Lincoln Plaza Concerts

The Saw Doctors perform live in a free concert at Damrosch Park, Lincoln Center Plaza and 62nd St. near Amsterdam Avenue. Get there early! 8 p.m. Visit sawdoctors.com for more information.

SAT. AUG. 21

The Second Avenue Circus

Who says Jews can’t juggle?  Remember when you wanted to run away with the circus but your mother made you go to Hebrew School instead?  The Second Avenue Circus are the Yids that got away, high-flying Heebs who traded in their brachas for the Big Top and turned minyans into mishigas! Hosted by the Goddess Perlman, featuring Jonathan Nosan, Scotty the Blue Bunny, Phat Man Dee, David Engal, Hillary Chaplin and more at 9 p.m. at the 14th St. Y, 344 E. 14th St. Call 212.780.0800 ext. 221 for more information. $15.

SUN. AUG. 22

Mongo Affair

Join Miguel Algarin and guests Caridad De La Luz, Emanuel Xavier, DJ Sabine, Carl Hancock Rux, Kayo, Reg E. Gaines, Grupo Caribe and many others as they bring Algarin’s “Mongo Affair” to life at this very special performance at 7:30 at Joe’s Pub, 25 Lafayette St. Go to joespub.com for more information. $20

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